Vital Football

Latest Colchester United News

Comment: Heads Up Curo + Lambo's Lieutenants

Comment: Heads Up Curo + Lambo's Lieutenants

- Comment -

Our regular columnist gives a briefer entry than usual, this week based on the summertime goings-on at the club.

Phil Awful

You`ve heard of The Man Who Can`t Be Moved: he`s on that pop record by the Script.

Now meet The Man Who Can`t Be Sold: he`s on Colchester United`s payroll but lost his script ages ago.

The club have tried infamously tried offloading Phil Ifil, seven months since the right-back was last seen kicking a football that mattered in stripes, by sending circulars round the leagues to show he`s available.

Apparently, it`s called "forcing the market."

In layman`s terms, that means hawking your knock-offs.

Ifil cost an expected £400,000 from Tottenham eighteen months ago.

No takers? Sure, ok then.

Next thing you know, his agent will be making him a broacher, as inspired by Michael Owen`s recent glossy sales pitch.

Ifil`s blurb could be something like: "Unfit. But tries hard, which is better than nothing. Likes to get forward but often forgets his position in the rush to attack. Scores own-goals; is likely to get sent off or give away a penalty in the heat of a relegation battle."

Now, where did I put my chequebook?


Heads Up, Curo!

You can tell Sky Sports don`t work in PR.

First, they use an age-old picture of Mark Yeates from his teenage puppy-fat years to report his transfer to Middlesbrough on their website. It leads one fan writing that he looks about 45 years of age.

Charming.

Then Jamie Cureton claims he`s reached a Crossroads on his career - and yes, I do mean gone all soap-opera - and isn`t sure he loves Norwich City quite as much now he`s not playing regularly.

You can click here to see the picture they used - it looks like an auditioning for the part of Mr. Bump in a Rodger Hargreaves children`s book.

Funny, that. Colchester fans always thought he`d taken a bang on the head when he left after becoming the Championship top-scorer in 2007.

I`ll leave you to write your own headlines.

Looking For Lambert`s Lieutenants

There`s no festival of self-congratulation or team-wide backslapping under Boot Camp Lambert at Colchester United, is there?

The man said Chris Coyne has "no guarantees" of a starting future at the club (going), that Medi Elito and Phil Ifil will be sold "if their agents are any good" (going) and, rightly, that Akkani-Sunday Wasiu Wasiu "just never had it in him" to become a decent striker for the club (gone).

You thought no-one was safe from Lambert`s whirlwind of reproach, right?

Wrong. Solid full-back Alan Maybury was given a new contract last week, accompanied by the words "Alan justified trying to keep because of what he did for us last season."

There`s an implication that Lambert felt he owed Maybury an extension based on past performance, which was considered by some fans as distinctly fair to middling.

Lambert`s sense of duty shows two things: 1) he a more compassionate character than is obvious and 2) he is looking for his own dressing-room lieutenants.

This apparently open admission of loyally is a first from him in Essex. Let`s hope Maybury proves an worthy exception to his manager`s rule.

Win FREE pizza with Vital Football!
Select your team and get 50% off if they score twice.
www.papajohns.co.uk/football



For the very latest League One odds

Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Matt_Us
Date:Sunday July 5 2009
Time: 11:58PM

Best of Vital Network

Comments

0
Nice article! Up the U's!
StevieG Col U
06/07/2009 09:09:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Colchester United Articles

No More Quarter Final Replays For Colchester

Should Colchester United progress through to an FA Cup quarter final from the 2016/17 season onwards, the game will no longer be subject to a replay.

Colchester - FL Dates 2016/17 (23/5/16)

The Football League have released the key dates for the coming 2016/17 season.

Who Will Colchester Face In 2016/17 (22/5/16)

With no matches remaining in the regular 2015/16 campaign, some promotions and relegations in the football pyramid are already known.

Wholescale League Changes For Colchester?

The Football League have confirmed that Colchester United have received a 'discussion document' that details proposed major changes to the make up of the game in this country.

Archived Vital Colchester Articles

Vital Colchester articles from

Site Journalists

Write for Vital Colchester
Write For Vital Colchester
Apply Here

Current Poll (see more polls)

Colchester v Rochdale
Suggested By:
Colchester win0%
Rochdale win100%
Draw0%

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
C Wigan 46 24 15 7 87 37
P Burton 46 25 10 11 85 20
3 Walsall 46 24 12 10 84 22
4 Millwall 46 24 9 13 81 24
5 Bradford 46 23 11 12 80 15
6 Barnsley 46 22 8 16 74 16
7 Scunthorpe 46 21 11 14 74 13
8 Coventry 46 19 12 15 69 18
9 Gillingham 46 19 12 15 69 15
10 Rochdale 46 19 12 15 69 7
11 Sheff Utd 46 18 12 16 66 5
12 Port Vale 46 18 11 17 65 -2
13 Peterborough 46 19 6 21 63 9
14 Bury 46 16 12 18 60 -17
15 Southend 46 16 11 19 59 -6
16 Swindon 46 16 11 19 59 -7
17 Oldham 46 12 18 16 54 -14
18 Chesterfield 46 15 8 23 53 -12
19 Fleetwood 46 12 15 19 51 -4
20 Shrewsbury 46 13 11 22 50 -21
R Doncaster 46 11 13 22 46 -16
R Blackpool 46 12 10 24 46 -23
R Colchester 46 9 13 24 40 -42
R Crewe 46 7 13 26 34 -37
Latest F1 News
Latest Vital Boxing News

Recent Colchester United Results (view all)

Colchester United Fixtures (view all)