UK time is: 13:16:01
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Comment: Heads Up Curo + Lambo's Lieutenants

- Comment -

Our regular columnist gives a briefer entry than usual, this week based on the summertime goings-on at the club.

Phil Awful

You`ve heard of The Man Who Can`t Be Moved: he`s on that pop record by the Script.

Now meet The Man Who Can`t Be Sold: he`s on Colchester United`s payroll but lost his script ages ago.

The club have tried infamously tried offloading Phil Ifil, seven months since the right-back was last seen kicking a football that mattered in stripes, by sending circulars round the leagues to show he`s available.

Apparently, it`s called "forcing the market."

In layman`s terms, that means hawking your knock-offs.

Ifil cost an expected 400,000 from Tottenham eighteen months ago.

No takers? Sure, ok then.

Next thing you know, his agent will be making him a broacher, as inspired by Michael Owen`s recent glossy sales pitch.

Ifil`s blurb could be something like: "Unfit. But tries hard, which is better than nothing. Likes to get forward but often forgets his position in the rush to attack. Scores own-goals; is likely to get sent off or give away a penalty in the heat of a relegation battle."

Now, where did I put my chequebook?


Heads Up, Curo!

You can tell Sky Sports don`t work in PR.

First, they use an age-old picture of Mark Yeates from his teenage puppy-fat years to report his transfer to Middlesbrough on their website. It leads one fan writing that he looks about 45 years of age.

Charming.

Then Jamie Cureton claims he`s reached a Crossroads on his career - and yes, I do mean gone all soap-opera - and isn`t sure he loves Norwich City quite as much now he`s not playing regularly.

You can click here to see the picture they used - it looks like an auditioning for the part of Mr. Bump in a Rodger Hargreaves children`s book.

Funny, that. Colchester fans always thought he`d taken a bang on the head when he left after becoming the Championship top-scorer in 2007.

I`ll leave you to write your own headlines.

Looking For Lambert`s Lieutenants

There`s no festival of self-congratulation or team-wide backslapping under Boot Camp Lambert at Colchester United, is there?

The man said Chris Coyne has "no guarantees" of a starting future at the club (going), that Medi Elito and Phil Ifil will be sold "if their agents are any good" (going) and, rightly, that Akkani-Sunday Wasiu Wasiu "just never had it in him" to become a decent striker for the club (gone).

You thought no-one was safe from Lambert`s whirlwind of reproach, right?

Wrong. Solid full-back Alan Maybury was given a new contract last week, accompanied by the words "Alan justified trying to keep because of what he did for us last season."

There`s an implication that Lambert felt he owed Maybury an extension based on past performance, which was considered by some fans as distinctly fair to middling.

Lambert`s sense of duty shows two things: 1) he a more compassionate character than is obvious and 2) he is looking for his own dressing-room lieutenants.

This apparently open admission of loyally is a first from him in Essex. Let`s hope Maybury proves an worthy exception to his manager`s rule.




Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



For the very latest League One odds

Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Matt_Us Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Sunday July 5 2009

Time: 11:58PM

Your Comments

Nice article! Up the U's!
StevieG Col U
 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Colchester United Articles

Team News: U's v Coventry City (Friday November 21 2014)

U's Seal Permanent Moncur Signing (Wednesday November 19 2014)

Final Day Fixtures Set (Wednesday November 19 2014)

Hume: An Awful Lot Of Positives (Sunday November 16 2014)

Stats: Barnsley v The U's (Saturday November 15 2014)

Team News: Barnsley v Colchester (Friday November 14 2014)

Look Hews Back As Harney Also Arrives (Friday November 14 2014)

Bean And Vose Free To Leave (Friday November 14 2014)

Posh Entertainment For Colchester (Tuesday November 11 2014)

Hume: The Players Have Done Terrific (Monday November 10 2014)

Archived Colchester United Articles

List All Vital Colchester Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll

League Results (view all)

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
18. Coventry 18 5 5 8 -7 20
19. Leyton Orient 18 4 7 7 -3 19
20. Gillingham 18 4 6 8 -7 18
21. Colchester 18 4 5 9 -4 17
22. Yeovil 18 4 5 9 -14 17
23. Scunthorpe 17 4 4 9 -11 16
24. Crewe 18 4 3 11 -22 15

Breaking League News

Rate The Ref - Posh v Swindon - Phil Gibbs
Peterborough : 23/11/2014 13:11:00
Vital Posh MOTM Results -V- Walsall
Peterborough : 23/11/2014 12:38:00
One Small Step for Sky Blues
Coventry : 23/11/2014 12:05:00
Leyton Orient : 23/11/2014 11:29:00
Dagnall Inspires Orient To First Home League Win
Leyton Orient : 23/11/2014 11:23:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Colchester v Coventry?
Suggested By:  Colchester Admin
Colchester win 60%
Coventry win 20%
Draw 20%