Vital Football

Latest Colchester United News

Comment: Heads Up Curo + Lambo's Lieutenants

Comment: Heads Up Curo + Lambo's Lieutenants

- Comment -

Our regular columnist gives a briefer entry than usual, this week based on the summertime goings-on at the club.

Phil Awful

You`ve heard of The Man Who Can`t Be Moved: he`s on that pop record by the Script.

Now meet The Man Who Can`t Be Sold: he`s on Colchester United`s payroll but lost his script ages ago.

The club have tried infamously tried offloading Phil Ifil, seven months since the right-back was last seen kicking a football that mattered in stripes, by sending circulars round the leagues to show he`s available.

Apparently, it`s called "forcing the market."

In layman`s terms, that means hawking your knock-offs.

Ifil cost an expected £400,000 from Tottenham eighteen months ago.

No takers? Sure, ok then.

Next thing you know, his agent will be making him a broacher, as inspired by Michael Owen`s recent glossy sales pitch.

Ifil`s blurb could be something like: "Unfit. But tries hard, which is better than nothing. Likes to get forward but often forgets his position in the rush to attack. Scores own-goals; is likely to get sent off or give away a penalty in the heat of a relegation battle."

Now, where did I put my chequebook?


Heads Up, Curo!

You can tell Sky Sports don`t work in PR.

First, they use an age-old picture of Mark Yeates from his teenage puppy-fat years to report his transfer to Middlesbrough on their website. It leads one fan writing that he looks about 45 years of age.

Charming.

Then Jamie Cureton claims he`s reached a Crossroads on his career - and yes, I do mean gone all soap-opera - and isn`t sure he loves Norwich City quite as much now he`s not playing regularly.

You can click here to see the picture they used - it looks like an auditioning for the part of Mr. Bump in a Rodger Hargreaves children`s book.

Funny, that. Colchester fans always thought he`d taken a bang on the head when he left after becoming the Championship top-scorer in 2007.

I`ll leave you to write your own headlines.

Looking For Lambert`s Lieutenants

There`s no festival of self-congratulation or team-wide backslapping under Boot Camp Lambert at Colchester United, is there?

The man said Chris Coyne has "no guarantees" of a starting future at the club (going), that Medi Elito and Phil Ifil will be sold "if their agents are any good" (going) and, rightly, that Akkani-Sunday Wasiu Wasiu "just never had it in him" to become a decent striker for the club (gone).

You thought no-one was safe from Lambert`s whirlwind of reproach, right?

Wrong. Solid full-back Alan Maybury was given a new contract last week, accompanied by the words "Alan justified trying to keep because of what he did for us last season."

There`s an implication that Lambert felt he owed Maybury an extension based on past performance, which was considered by some fans as distinctly fair to middling.

Lambert`s sense of duty shows two things: 1) he a more compassionate character than is obvious and 2) he is looking for his own dressing-room lieutenants.

This apparently open admission of loyally is a first from him in Essex. Let`s hope Maybury proves an worthy exception to his manager`s rule.



For the very latest League One odds

Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Matt_Us
Date:Sunday July 5 2009
Time: 11:58PM

Comments

0
Nice article! Up the U's!
StevieG Col U
06/07/2009 09:09:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Best of Vital Network

Vital Boxing - Staged or Real?

Recent Colchester United Articles

Sky's 10 In 10 - Who Features?

Sky Sports being their festive 10 in 10 this week, so who features in the football screening overload for 2016/17?

500,000+ Season Tickets Sold In 2016/17

More than 500,000 Season Tickets were sold in the Football League pyramid for the 2016/17 season.

How Do Colchester Fare In The BBC's 2016 Survey?

The BBC's Price Of Football survey for 2016 was released a week last Wednesday evening and as ever they looked at everything from the price of tickets through to the price of pies...

McGreal In Team Of The Week (28/11/16)

Colchester United are represented in the latest Football League team of the week that has been selected after this week's action.

Archived Vital Colchester Articles

Vital Colchester articles from

Site Journalists

Write for Vital Colchester
Write For Vital Colchester
Apply Here

Current Poll (see more polls)

Colchester v Rochdale
Suggested By:
Colchester win38%
Rochdale win50%
Draw12%

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Doncaster 19 12 3 4 39 14
2 Carlisle 19 10 8 1 38 14
3 Plymouth 19 12 2 5 38 8
4 Portsmouth 19 9 4 6 31 12
5 Luton 19 8 7 4 31 10
6 Yeovil 19 8 4 7 28 1
7 Wycombe 19 8 4 7 28 1
8 Blackpool 19 7 6 6 27 11
9 Stevenage 19 8 3 8 27 1
10 Barnet 19 6 9 4 27 0
11 Grimsby 19 7 5 7 26 2
12 Crewe 19 6 8 5 26 -3
13 Cambridge 19 7 4 8 25 -2
14 Mansfield 19 6 7 6 25 -4
15 Colchester 19 6 5 8 23 1
16 Crawley 19 6 5 8 23 -11
17 Morecambe 19 7 2 10 23 -13
18 Hartlepool 19 5 7 7 22 -4
19 Notts County 19 6 4 9 22 -8
20 Accrington 19 5 6 8 21 -5
21 Exeter 19 6 2 11 20 -5
22 Leyton Orient 19 5 3 11 18 -5
23 Cheltenham 19 3 9 7 18 -8
24 Newport 19 4 5 10 17 -7
The Vital Football Members League
Latest F1 News
Latest Vital Boxing News
Vital Football Comment

Recent Colchester United Results (view all)

Colchester United Fixtures (view all)

Dec 10 2016 3:00PM : Mansfield Town (a)
Sky Bet League Two
Dec 17 2016 3:00PM : Notts County (H)
Sky Bet League Two
Dec 26 2016 3:00PM : Luton Town (a)
Sky Bet League Two
Dec 31 2016 3:00PM : Stevenage (a)
Sky Bet League Two
Jan 2 2017 3:00PM : Cheltenham Town (H)
Sky Bet League Two
Jan 7 2017 3:00PM : Carlisle United (H)
Sky Bet League Two
Write for Vital Football