Date:Sunday July 5 2009
- Comment -
Our regular columnist gives a briefer entry than usual, this week based on the summertime goings-on at the club.
You`ve heard of The Man Who Can`t Be Moved: he`s on that pop record by the Script.
Now meet The Man Who Can`t Be Sold: he`s on Colchester United`s payroll but lost his script ages ago.
The club have tried infamously tried offloading Phil Ifil, seven months since the right-back was last seen kicking a football that mattered in stripes, by sending circulars round the leagues to show he`s available.
Apparently, it`s called "forcing the market."
In layman`s terms, that means hawking your knock-offs.
Ifil cost an expected £400,000 from Tottenham eighteen months ago.
No takers? Sure, ok then.
Next thing you know, his agent will be making him a broacher, as inspired by Michael Owen`s recent glossy sales pitch.
Ifil`s blurb could be something like: "Unfit. But tries hard, which is better than nothing. Likes to get forward but often forgets his position in the rush to attack. Scores own-goals; is likely to get sent off or give away a penalty in the heat of a relegation battle."
Now, where did I put my chequebook?
Heads Up, Curo!
You can tell Sky Sports don`t work in PR.
First, they use an age-old picture of Mark Yeates from his teenage puppy-fat years to report his transfer to Middlesbrough on their website. It leads one fan writing that he looks about 45 years of age.
Then Jamie Cureton claims he`s reached a Crossroads on his career - and yes, I do mean gone all soap-opera - and isn`t sure he loves Norwich City quite as much now he`s not playing regularly.
You can click here to see the picture they used - it looks like an auditioning for the part of Mr. Bump in a Rodger Hargreaves children`s book.
Funny, that. Colchester fans always thought he`d taken a bang on the head when he left after becoming the Championship top-scorer in 2007.
I`ll leave you to write your own headlines.
Looking For Lambert`s Lieutenants
There`s no festival of self-congratulation or team-wide backslapping under Boot Camp Lambert at Colchester United, is there?
The man said Chris Coyne has "no guarantees" of a starting future at the club (going), that Medi Elito and Phil Ifil will be sold "if their agents are any good" (going) and, rightly, that Akkani-Sunday Wasiu Wasiu "just never had it in him" to become a decent striker for the club (gone).
You thought no-one was safe from Lambert`s whirlwind of reproach, right?
Wrong. Solid full-back Alan Maybury was given a new contract last week, accompanied by the words "Alan justified trying to keep because of what he did for us last season."
There`s an implication that Lambert felt he owed Maybury an extension based on past performance, which was considered by some fans as distinctly fair to middling.
Lambert`s sense of duty shows two things: 1) he a more compassionate character than is obvious and 2) he is looking for his own dressing-room lieutenants.
This apparently open admission of loyally is a first from him in Essex. Let`s hope Maybury proves an worthy exception to his manager`s rule.
Date:Sunday July 5 2009
The Supporters Summit - Colchester (Friday July 3 2015)
Former Captain Joins Luton (Thursday July 2 2015)
Defender's Contract Cancelled (Thursday July 2 2015)
Fox Isn't Coming Back (Saturday June 27 2015)
Defender Returns Permanently (Saturday June 27 2015)
Colchester Start At The WHCS Against Blackpool (Wednesday June 17 2015)
Capital One Cup - Colchester Home Reading (Tuesday June 16 2015)
Colchester Unseeded In Capital One Cup First Round (Sunday June 14 2015)
Arrival From West Ham Confirmed (Thursday June 11 2015)
Football League Changes - Colchester (Thursday June 11 2015)
|Pragmatic Mowbray Seeks Spurs Link
» Coventry : 04/07/2015 14:00:01
|Blades Forward Interests Cardiff
» Sheff Utd : 04/07/2015 12:08:00
|Majewski In Talks?
» Scunthorpe : 04/07/2015 11:58:00
|Partick Await Taylor Answer
» Scunthorpe : 04/07/2015 11:54:01
|Strong Core But Alexander's After More
» Fleetwood : 04/07/2015 11:35:01