Colchester United - Kelly`s Poison Prose Our Last Word On Lambert
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Kelly`s Poison Prose Our Last Word On Lambert

Colchester United F.C. ideally want to tell the whole world that nobody at the club is embittered by Paul Lambert`s departure to Norwich, but hey, most fans actually ARE.

How do I know? Because I am one.

Still, here`s the last word on it for now - we promise.

Vital Colchester has been among the most vocal U's fanzines on the internet to voice apparently outspoken opinions on Lambert`s demeaning departure this past week, reviewable via the link to an exhaustive rundown of a very hectic seven days for the side.

Lighter, tears - we've had the whole shebang!

Steve Wingnall, an ex-U`s manager, may have said he wasn`t at all surprised by what happened and looking back into history, with almost identically mutinies from Phil Parkinson and George Burley before, maybe he was wise not to be.

So, haven`t we kept Lambert and those not-so-neighbourly Norwich in the stocks for long enough, now?


But yesterday I was enraged to read on the network sister sit, Vital Norwich, that a selection of City fans had the gall to describe us - not the Ipswich supporters they supposedly hate with a passion - as 'Scummers.`

And remind me, again, which club it was caught shamefully stealing a very impressionable Scotsman from Essex?

In a good old-fashioned retaliation, I then saw this: a pretty little ditty in ode to City`s less-than-chivalrous conduct, printed by Des Kelly in his weekend Daily Mail column.

After all, why should we waste time inventing more pointed purple prose than has already been published, when paid members of the real-world media will quite happily do it for us?

Besides, these cooking instructions at least seem an apt closure on the whole farce; Kelly writes:-

Here's Delia's Smith`s recipe for 'Canary Stew':

Take locally sourced ingredients.
Throw into frying pan.
Sling straight into fire.
Remove when barely done.
Stuff thoroughly.
Add garnish.
Drop straight into bin.
Order takeaway from Colchester.

Won`t somebody please pass me another tomato?

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The Journalist

Writer: Matt_Us Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Sunday August 23 2009

Time: 6:37PM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
I like it, very apt!! Good point Matt_Us made me s*******!
Report Abuse
23/08/2009 20:39:00

In other words laf!
Report Abuse
23/08/2009 20:40:00

Last word for a couple of hours at least!
Report Abuse
23/08/2009 23:39:00

It was supposed to be... I can't help what Steve types up there, Guru! Vital Norwich should not have called us the scum!! Bit like hitting a wasp nest with a cricket bat right now...!
Report Abuse
23/08/2009 23:48:00

Sorry - just wanted to write something! lol Love the recipe! Up the U's!
StevieG Col U
Report Abuse
24/08/2009 08:26:00

This is Matt's last word on Lambert - The other piece is mine!
StevieG Col U
Report Abuse
24/08/2009 09:03:00

Look on the brightside, least we can get someone in that we can understand now, good riddance to sh8 i say
Report Abuse
24/08/2009 17:55:00

Very true, sonicsmegg! Welcome to the site mate, up those U's!!
Report Abuse
24/08/2009 18:08:00

I like sonicsmegg already! lol Up the U's!
StevieG Col U
Report Abuse
24/08/2009 21:43:00


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