Colchester United - Kelly`s Poison Prose Our Last Word On Lambert
UK time is: 22:42:00
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Kelly`s Poison Prose Our Last Word On Lambert

Colchester United F.C. ideally want to tell the whole world that nobody at the club is embittered by Paul Lambert`s departure to Norwich, but hey, most fans actually ARE.

How do I know? Because I am one.

Still, here`s the last word on it for now - we promise.

Vital Colchester has been among the most vocal U's fanzines on the internet to voice apparently outspoken opinions on Lambert`s demeaning departure this past week, reviewable via the link to an exhaustive rundown of a very hectic seven days for the side.

Lighter, tears - we've had the whole shebang!

Steve Wingnall, an ex-U`s manager, may have said he wasn`t at all surprised by what happened and looking back into history, with almost identically mutinies from Phil Parkinson and George Burley before, maybe he was wise not to be.

So, haven`t we kept Lambert and those not-so-neighbourly Norwich in the stocks for long enough, now?

Perhaps.

But yesterday I was enraged to read on the network sister sit, Vital Norwich, that a selection of City fans had the gall to describe us - not the Ipswich supporters they supposedly hate with a passion - as 'Scummers.`

And remind me, again, which club it was caught shamefully stealing a very impressionable Scotsman from Essex?

In a good old-fashioned retaliation, I then saw this: a pretty little ditty in ode to City`s less-than-chivalrous conduct, printed by Des Kelly in his weekend Daily Mail column.

After all, why should we waste time inventing more pointed purple prose than has already been published, when paid members of the real-world media will quite happily do it for us?

Besides, these cooking instructions at least seem an apt closure on the whole farce; Kelly writes:-

Here's Delia's Smith`s recipe for 'Canary Stew':

Take locally sourced ingredients.
Throw into frying pan.
Sling straight into fire.
Remove when barely done.
Stuff thoroughly.
Add garnish.
Drop straight into bin.
Order takeaway from Colchester.


Won`t somebody please pass me another tomato?



Bookmark and Share


So what do you think?

Let us know with a comment below, or chat about this article in the forum. Not yet a member? Don't panic, click on the banner below to join in.




We want to know YOUR thoughts...


VITAL COLCHESTER; YOUR VOICE, YOUR CHOICE!


VITAL COLCHESTER IS 100% UNOFFICIAL - FOR THE FANS, BY THE FANS!


Follow us on Twitter












Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



*Try Vital Mobile FOR FREE for the latest news, scores, fixtures and so much more*

Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Matt_Us Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Sunday August 23 2009

Time: 6:37PM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
I like it, very apt!! Good point Matt_Us made me s*******!
Rob_CU
Report Abuse
23/08/2009 20:39:00

In other words laf!
Rob_CU
Report Abuse
23/08/2009 20:40:00

Last word for a couple of hours at least!
theguru
Report Abuse
23/08/2009 23:39:00

It was supposed to be... I can't help what Steve types up there, Guru! Vital Norwich should not have called us the scum!! Bit like hitting a wasp nest with a cricket bat right now...!
Matt_Us
Report Abuse
23/08/2009 23:48:00

Sorry - just wanted to write something! lol Love the recipe! Up the U's!
StevieG Col U
Report Abuse
24/08/2009 08:26:00

This is Matt's last word on Lambert - The other piece is mine!
StevieG Col U
Report Abuse
24/08/2009 09:03:00

Look on the brightside, least we can get someone in that we can understand now, good riddance to sh8 i say
sonicsmegg
Report Abuse
24/08/2009 17:55:00

Very true, sonicsmegg! Welcome to the site mate, up those U's!!
Matt_Us
Report Abuse
24/08/2009 18:08:00

I like sonicsmegg already! lol Up the U's!
StevieG Col U
Report Abuse
24/08/2009 21:43:00

 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Colchester United Articles

Colchester Captain Commits (Monday August 31 2015)

U's 2-2 Scunthorpe & Highlights (Monday August 31 2015)

Stats: U's v Scunthorpe United (Saturday August 29 2015)

League 1 - U's v Scunthorpe (Saturday August 29 2015)

Colchester Bring In Midfielder (Friday August 28 2015)

Fleetwood 4-0 U's & Highlights (Monday August 24 2015)

Stats: Fleetwood v U's (Monday August 24 2015)

Archived Colchester United Articles

List All Vital Colchester Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
18. Peterborough 5 1 1 3 -4 4
19. Millwall 5 1 1 3 -6 4
20. Southend 5 0 3 2 -3 3
21. Colchester 5 0 3 2 -5 3
22. Shrewsbury 5 0 2 3 -3 2
23. Crewe 5 0 2 3 -4 2
24. Blackpool 5 0 1 4 -9 1

Colchester United Fixtures (view all)

Breaking League News

Southend : 31/08/2015 21:38:01
Ref Watch: Millwall v Peterborough United
Peterborough : 31/08/2015 19:47:00
Coventry v Southend - Team Sheets
Southend : 31/08/2015 19:14:00
Tomorrow Evening - Deadline Day amp; Hartlepool
Sheff Utd : 31/08/2015 18:42:01
STFC: Swindon Agreed Byrne Fee With Wolves
Swindon : 31/08/2015 18:40:01

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Chesterfield v Colchester
Suggested By:  VitalU's
Colchester win 0%
Chesterfield win 0%
Draw 100%