How do you like your words?
Boiled, steamed or fried?
That`s the good thing about the internet - well, not the only good thing, there is the CU-FC.com website. I suppose the news websites do come in handy too. Especially the Beeb - following a match you can`t be at or the cricket/Wimbledon whilst you`re at work.
Then there`s MyFace, SpaceBook and Dweebo. If those people started having real friends and really 'interacting`, there`d be even less room at the bar come last orders.
And there`s those other sites… but I think the less said about those the better.
I digress. The good thing about the internet is, it`s a permanent record. Unless you really know what you`re doing, you can`t erase your comments from the great chunk of memory in the sky.
This comes in dead handy when you`re trying to load ammunition for all those people that have to eat their words - as many a politician will tell you. Speaking of eating, ask Leslie Grantham about his internet experiences…
The Charlton fan who tipped Chris Iwelumo to be his team`s boo-boy, likening him to Kim Grant and Jason Lee must still be choking down his pre-season words in The Observer.
Message boards are even better. Newspapers can misquote you, TV footage cleverly edited but if you write it yourself you`ve no-one else to blame.
This usually comes in handy when visiting teams come to crow about this being "Your Cup final."; "Will we all fit in your shed?" and "How many will we score?" etc. In fact, they`re so predictable, I`m sure there`s a template out there somewhere, where they just enter the name of their team and press 'go`.
The U`s have made such a habit of making these numbskulls eat their words, I`m surprised they`ve not added "Your words - lightly toasted" to the catering stands in the away end.
Everyone has their opinion of course, without them things would get awfully dull. There`s been a heated debate about Kem Izzet on the message board lately. Personally I think Kem is a victim of his own lack of flamboyance. If he had an accent like Patrick Vieira or frothed at the mouth like a rabid dog a la Keano - he`d get more recognition.
Fact is he`s the same off the pitch as on it. Head down, goes to work, gives 100%, gets the job done, goes home again. Rinse, repeat.
I digress again.
Earlier this week someone launched into a spectacular rant about the U`s wingers of choice this season - Kevin McLeod and Mark Yeates. Some of what they said made vague sense but they concluded by saying Yeates` delivery from dead balls was "poor".
Cue Mr. Yeates going to 'the kitchen` to serve up more tasty words to eat. Two free-kick goals at Blackpool would, I think, count as a decent delivery from set-pieces. Making it three this season is just garnish.
Perhaps I`m being unfair. You can`t make a career from free-kicks alone, unless your name is Beckham. Maybe McLeod and Yeates do need to track back a little more to help our leaky defence - especially given Doogs` and Big George`s propensity for getting forward.
But if you rein them in does it become a double-edged sword? It`s no good not conceding any goals if you score none too.
As ever, striking the right balance is key. With this being the second home game in a row, the balance should shift in our favour.
Give the scales a hefty shove, make home advantage count. Lose your equilibrium; throw yourself into a hefty cheer for the lads! The kitchen is open, fresh words ready for cooking! Up those super white and blues!
Read more from CO2 in the U`s Award Winning Matchday Magazine priced at just £3 available on Match Days and from the club shop.